It’s been over a month since I’ve posted. This is mostly due that I put my writing on pause to look for work. It’s been fairly rotten. I’ve been on four interviews, none of which offered me a job (we’re not talking about this job market. At all.) This week, I got lucky enough that a temporary agency that I deal with sent me some place. It’s not even confirmed when this one will end — whether in a few weeks or a few months — but you get to the point when you need money so bad that you don’t give a crap.
Under normal circumstances, I don’t post unless I have something writing related. This begins the section of the blog called Evil Katie. You see, Rance Denton has Evil Rance. Evil Rance is when the love of my life goes on an absolute tirade about nothing in particular; all in all, it has nothing to do with writing and our craft.
So, it’s my goal that whenever you see “Storytime,” it is a tale how the world decided to have a field day with me. It, too, will have nothing to do with writing.
Today was my first day on the temp job. I’m working in a legal office, doing administrative work and the whole day itself couldn’t have gone better. I spent the first hour getting a badge and a parking pass. I also spent an exorbitant amount of time sweating like a pig as I walked around the building for different errands. I had the look of a high school freshman: constantly confused and unless my bottom was planted in a seat, I had no idea where I was.
Still. The kitchen was over-stocked with Keurigs pods and a Keurig that was not only hooked up to water but had its own pod disposal. I thought I was in coffee heaven. I drank more coffee than is reasonably healthy. (They did say, ‘help yourself’ so I don’t think I did anything wrong). I got to use a computer that functioned well and a printer that sat not six inches from me.
Then I went about my day, learning a fairly simple database and working with legal contracts. The latter is new to me, but I do have some contract experience when I worked in real estate. 5:00 came around. The client, who serves as my boss, asked how the day went and all in all, I couldn’t have asked for a better day.
Until when I decided to leave.
You see, this small campus is composed of three buildings, all of which are connected on the second floor. I went to the second floor and went in the wrong direction. As I reached a locked door that I was convinced was the right one, a custodian said to me, “Excuse me? Do you need to get somewhere?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m looking for the parking garage. Isn’t it through this way?”
“No,” she says. This is the first lie. “You need to go through the elevator down to the first floor.”
There’s so many problems with this sentence that I could vomit. First, I had spent the whole day, walking around these buildings and the only way to get from one to the other was on the second floor. I didn’t imagine my boss tell me this. I also didn’t imagine one of the legal secretaries, who trained me most of the day, telling me this. I didn’t imagine it yesterday, when I visited the site, when a perfect goddamn stranger told me this. My instinct screamed NO DON’T DO IT, but I did what she said.
The second problem with this scenario was that this elevator was creepy. I was in a very high-class office building. The elevators were pretty and comfortable. This one was full of heaping bags of garbage that smelled of old taco meat and diapers. I go down to the first floor.
It looks like a hall way under the hotel that Jack Torrence lost his shit in.
I knew this was wrong. I found a stairwell. I opened the door, finding it unlocked (this detail is very important. Keep this in mind). I run up two flights of stairs. I know I’m on the second floor, the right floor and I open the door. I come out to this little balcony with a door on the other side.
It’s locked.
I run back downstairs, gnawing on my urge to not panic to go through the door I came in.
It’s locked.
The Oh Shit Moment bashed me in the face. I ran up to the top of the stairwell to find another locked door. I run back to the balcony. Maybe, I’m thinking, we’re on a hill and I can just step over the railing. Wrong. Two flight drop equals two broken legs and definitely no work tomorrow. I call Rance.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey, honey! What’s going on?”
“Um,” I said, breathing heavily, “I’m trapped in a stairwell.”
“What?”
“I’m locked inside a stairwell.”
I can only imagine what runs through his head.
“I’m going to call night security and see if someone can get me out,” I said.
“Is there anything I can do?” Rance asked.
“I’ll call you back and let you know.”
I don’t call security, simply because the business’s website is a nightmare to manage on an iPhone. So then the claustrophobia really sets in.

It feels like this. Seriously.
I do the only thing I can think of. I run back to the door I entered in the first place and bang on it as loud as I can. And I mean, loud. Loud enough that I even scared myself a little.
A woman comes and finds me within seconds and opens the door. Apparently, the whole first floor can hear a crazy woman banging on a door.
She walks me to my car, as I explain what happened. She said, “Bless your heart” a whole bunch of times. This is now 40 minutes after I was supposed to be home.
Then, the world decided it had to add just one more thing: I sat in traffic for an hour.
That was my first day of work in two months. If that doesn’t deserve a medal, none does. This concludes this segment of “Storytime.”